A quick note regarding the post below:
I wrote this post you are about to read in May, but I never got around to posting it. Here it is now. Be sure to come back for more very soon.
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It has been quite some time since I wrote anything on here, and it's probably because I really don't know what to write about.
I could talk about how I'm rediscovering my love of reading, writing, and drawing. I haven't done any of them in quite some time, but, pretty soon I'm going to be doing a lot of that, I don't know if I'll really want to though (because it'll all be for school).
I could talk about how much I have learned about interdependency and how people need each other, and it's a shame when people don't help each other or allow someone to help them.
I could talk about how I'm terrified about my upcoming classes. I'm registered for four Summer classes (a full load) and the final semester which may include College Algebra. I'm terrible with math! There are other things I have to consider when deciding what to do with my math requirement, but that's all a story for another time.
In light of the previous paragraph, I could also talk about how I'm having to remind myself that God has been in control of all my recent higher education.
I could talk about my first discussion about Jesus with an Atheist. This conversation was a long time coming, and I feel that there's more to come.
I could talk about how financial struggles are reigniting themselves just as they were becoming controllable.
I could talk about all these things, and more. But I'm not going to. The thing is, I really didn't realize all these things I just mentioned were going on at the same time until I started writing this post. Now I know why I've been so tired, sick, and just downright stressed. And I could continue by saying what I usually always say, "It's ok, God's got this. He's got me and my family in His hands. Just give it all to Him." Then I could go on, smiling, feeling good about myself and how I encouraged my readers. But the thing is that is usually easier said than done.
The thing is my priorities are jumbled and I don't always have it together. No matter how much I try I will always fall short of the goal. I will always forget what I tell others. I am not good enough for anything. I am insufficient on my own. And that's the point. It's not about me. I'm not supposed to check off an item from my holy checklist each day and feel satisfied in my self-righteousness. I pursue things that I probably shouldn't. Spend money I probably shouldn't. And these make me feel inadequate for everything when I fail at one thing. But in the end, it's not about me and what I have learned. It's about God and what He's done.
I came on here with the intent to talk about how I'm sticking it out with school, even if it means what I thought the plan was is not what it actually is. And I may talk later about each of the aforementioned thoughts later. But, as I started typing, I felt like I just needed to be more real for a moment. I'm in a season of my life where I feel kind of stuck in the middle. I'll have a high point where I made straight As. And then I'll have a low point where I can't pass a math test for the second time. I'll have a high point where I talked about Jesus with a non-believer, and then I don't make the time to study my Bible.
I am very human, just like you, and just like you, I need Jesus every day. He's the ONLY one keeping me from falling apart. And I just want you to know Him like I do. He loves you and is waiting for you to respond to His calling. There will be good days and bad days. There will be days that are neutral. But what they all have in common is that God is in each one of them, and He's right beside you through it all, even if it doesn't seem like it. And that's the point. Jesus is the point in everything.
~With Love, Elizabeth
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